Ask the Dragonmaster!

COMING BACK FROM THE DEAD BECAUSE I HAVE JUST FOUND THE MOST IMPORTANT CRAIGSLIST AD IN THE WORLD.

metricaprovince:

Ladies and gentlemen, Brian Kibler.

THE ONLY TIME I EVER LOSE IS WHEN I WILL IT.
ALSO, THERE WAS A BIT OF HYPERBOLE IN THAT STATUS BECAUSE I ALWAYS LOOK GOOD.

metricaprovince:

Ladies and gentlemen, Brian Kibler.

THE ONLY TIME I EVER LOSE IS WHEN I WILL IT.

ALSO, THERE WAS A BIT OF HYPERBOLE IN THAT STATUS BECAUSE I ALWAYS LOOK GOOD.

teach me how to flick my hand like you

IF YOU WISH TO LEARN THE WAYS OF KIBLER, YOU MUST FIRST GO ON A GLOBETROTTING PILGRIMAGE WHERE YOU CAN RE-DISCOVER YOURSELF AND EMBRACE THE WAYS OF KIBLER. MANY (READ: ALL) HAVE TRIED TO ACCOMPLISH THIS, BUT IF YOU MANAGE TO DO SO, I WILL TEACH YOU MY WAYS. I CANNOT GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PULL ANYTHING OFF AS MIRACULOUS OR BRILLIANTLY AS MYSELF, BUT IT’S WORTH A TRY.

Oh great and wonderful Kibler, if I could but touch the hem of your scarf, I feel that I may too have perfect hair and a perfect smile. Alas, I am not worthy and must continue to look like a Sliver from M14 compared to your greatness. Why must you be such a curse and blessing at the same time?

ACTUALLY IF YOU TOUCH MY SCARF YOU’D CAUSE A 500 MEGATON EXPLOSION FROM THE SHEER OVERLOAD OF ME THAT WOULD BE PROCESSING. FOR THE GOOD OF THE EARTH, FOR MANKIND, YOU MUST NOT TOUCH THE SCARF.

Everyday, are you shufflin'?

YEAH, THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.

THESE ARE ACTUAL FACTS.

THESE ARE ACTUAL FACTS.

I like solforge a lot. I'm excited to meet you at Gen Con this year!

I EXPECTED AS MUCH. SOLFORGE IS THE GREATEST GAME TO HAVE EVER BEEN CONCEIVED (MOSTLY THANKS TO YOURS TRULY).

I MAY OR MAY NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR PRESENCE AT GEN CON. YOU MAY OFFER TRIBUTE AND I MAY TAKE A GLANCE IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION.

BEHOLD SHIRO, MY HOUND WHO IS ABLE TO TO RUN AT SPEEDS NEAR INCOMPREHENSIBLE, SNIFF SCENTS ONLY KNOWN BY SPECIES WITH NO SORT OF PRONOUNCEABLE NAME, AND CAN ALSO OPEN DOORS WITH IT’S MAN (DOG) MADE OPPOSABLE THUMBS THAT IT MADE FOR ITSELF WITH IT’S ENGINEERING DEGREE FROM RIT.
HE’S GREAT.

BEHOLD SHIRO, MY HOUND WHO IS ABLE TO TO RUN AT SPEEDS NEAR INCOMPREHENSIBLE, SNIFF SCENTS ONLY KNOWN BY SPECIES WITH NO SORT OF PRONOUNCEABLE NAME, AND CAN ALSO OPEN DOORS WITH IT’S MAN (DOG) MADE OPPOSABLE THUMBS THAT IT MADE FOR ITSELF WITH IT’S ENGINEERING DEGREE FROM RIT.

HE’S GREAT.

I’M BRIAN K AND I’M HERE TO SAY

IT’S FUN TO RAP IN A MAGICAL WAY.

NOW ASK ME QUESTIONS.

(ALSO HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE PLAYED SOLFORGE AND IS IT NOT THE GREATEST GAME THAT HAS EVER GRACED YOUR LIFE)

mtgfan:

Rob Castellon is pretty much awesome, if you didn’t know. Here’s a few facts about him from Twitter:

  • Rob Castellon doesn’t need to look through your deck, he already knows the contents.
  • Rob Castellon found Fblthp
  • Rob Castellon can still counter with a Syncopate for 0
  • Lhurgoyf told Tarmogoyf to run from Rob Castellon
  • The battlefield is so named because Castellon’s house was a little too long
  • Rob Castellon won the finals of a PTQ by wrestling an actual grizzly bear
  • Rob Castellon can make Kibler keep his hands still

I’VE COME BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE I’D LIKE TO SAY:

THAT LAST POINT IS BASELESS SPECULATION AND YOU SHOULDN’T WRITE SUCH THINGS IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE ACTUAL TRUTH. I, BRIAN KIBLER, KNEEL TO NO MAN, WOMAN, OR MUPPET.

ROB IS A RESPECTED COLLEAGUE IN THE WORLD OF MAGIC, BUT LET’S FACE IT: HE DOESN’T HAVE THE BEAUTIFUL HAIR, SCARF, OR WINNING SMILE THAT I HAVE.