HOPE YOU’RE ALL HAVING A WONDERFUL, SAFE CHRISTMAS.
REMEMBER TO LEAVE ALL MY GIFTS/BRIBES/TOKENS OF YOUR UNDYING DEVOTION TO ME ON MY FRONT PORCH AND LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, OTHERWISE THE ATTACK HOUNDS WILL COME AND TEAR OFF YOUR LIMBS.
Get outta here, Kibler, Tumblr's too mainstream for you. Just kidding man. BRIAN KIBLER, YOUR RETURN TO TUMBLR HAS BEEN PROPHESIZED FOR MONTHS, HOW WAS YOUR MEDITATION?
MY MEDITATION WAS LONG AND WORTHWHILE. THE MONKS WHO PROVIDED ME SHELTER VACATED THE ENTIRE TEMPLE AND SURVIVED IN THE HARSH WILDERNESS FOR THREE MONTHS. WHEN I EMERGED THEY WERE HARDENED BY THE HARSH GRIP OF NATURE AND NOW FUNCTION AS MY PERSONAL ASSASSIN SQUAD.
AND LIKE THE MIGHTY PHOENIX OF MYTH, FROM THE ASHES OF THE EARTH, I RISE ONCE AGAIN.
YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ALL ABOUT YOU MY DEAR FOLLOWERS? WELL, YOU THOUGHT WRONG. I, BRIAN KIBLER, MAY HAVE VANISHED FROM TUMBLR, BUT DO NOT THINK FOR A SECOND THAT I WAS NOT DOING ANYTHING CONSTRUCTIVE.
SECLUDED ON A MOUNTAINTOP, I WAS IN DEEP MEDITATION FOR 3 MONTHS, WHERE I CONTEMPLATED MY LIFE, AND MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS. ALL THE FACES I HAVE MET, ALL OF THE EVENTS I HAVE BEEN A PART OF, ALL OF THE ARMADILLO CLOAKS I HAVE CASTED, EVERYTHING WAS FLOODING INTO MY MIND LIKE A TORRENT OF RAIN CAST DOWN BY THE HEAVENS ABOVE. IT WAS AT THE END OF THOSE THREE MONTHS THAT I CAME TO A CONCLUSION:
WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY I HAVEN’T BEEN ON TUMBLR FOR THREE MONTHS? I AM BRIAN FUCKING KIBLER. PEOPLE TRAVEL THE EARTH TO SEE MY PERFECTLY KEPT HAIR. WORLD ECONOMIES ARE KEPT IN CHECK DUE TO MY WINNING SMILE. MY SENSE OF FASHION HAS STOPPED NUCLEAR WAR ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS. IF THERE IS ANYONE WHO IS BEYOND THE REPROACH OF THE MASSES IT’S ME.
I’M BACK, TUMBLR. SHOWER ME WITH PRAISE.
KIBLER EMERGES FROM THE MIST.
THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH GOING ON RIGHT NOW ON TUMBLR AND I AM VERY CONFUSED. WHAT IS ALL THIS?
BEHOLD, THE TEAM AT GARY GAMES.
THANK YOU FOR HELPING US REACH ABOVE AND BEYOND THE GOAL WE HAD SET FOR SOLFORGE.
YOU MAY NOW CONTINUE YOUR DAILY WORSHIP OF ME.
What's the best way to worship you, Dragonmaster?
ON A BEAUTIFUL SANDBAR IN TAHITI, THERE IS A SHRINE DEDICATED TO ME. GO THERE WITH YOUR ARMADILLO CLOAKS ASK FOR THE DIVINE BEING (ME) TO BLESS YOU WITH THE POWER TO HAVE A WINNING SMILE, GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM, AND SMART BUSINESS DECISIONS.
ALSO I MEAN, YOU’RE IN TAHITI. THAT PLACE IS GREAT.
